Friday, 04 June 2010 11:00

Spending time away overseas is a rather humbling experience for me, mostly due to the fact that I spent my childhood so sheltered and separate from ever thinking I could possibly travel the world. From the outset I realised that the Mera Peak experience was going to be different somehow.

Before leaving I was bombarded with varied responses from the people around me from, “Are you insane? ” to “Wow, that will be amazing! ” The only thought that was in my head though was what I had always heard mum ask me whenever I wanted to do anything growing up. “Why? ”

Why did I subject myself to hours and hours of training in the rare spare time I had? Why did I want to come along on this trip to begin with? Why wouldn’t I want to spend my time relaxing on some tropical island instead? Why, why, why???

In an attempt to find the answers I asked everyone on the trip why they were there…too many different responses. I asked myself while I was walking …no time to think, just walk and breathe. When I was stopped…too tired to think. When I was sent back due to AMS…failed the attempt, find the benefits, get clear, wait for the others to get back to me and see that they’re ok. Why weren’t the answers coming to me? Why wasn’t I clear? Who could help me?

The answer became clear long after we’d left the mountain, in the luxury of a coffee shop in Kathmandu. I was trying to find outside of me (Mera) what was already inside. I went because I felt, in some way, that it was going to help me live out what is important to me (values), and in turn, help fill that sense of missingness I had as a child at not being able to do the things I wanted (void). In essence that’s why everyone was there…the ones who wanted acknowledgement (if they didn’t feel acknowledged), or success (if they felt like they’d failed) …we were all trying to fill a subconscious void.

Our voids and values drive us to do extraordinary things, they are our lopsided perceptions that give rise to the perfection in our lives by motivating us to move forward, to find new ways to express ourselves, to find love in everything. The blessing for all of us in going to Mera was that what we were looking for there, was inside of us the whole time.

So what did we find out…that our voids, our sense of missingness drive us to do magnificent things, and most of all, make us realize, exactly what our values are.

Love and light,

Emilia