How To Change Your Perspective and Therefore The World (or Overcome Your Shit)

How To Change Your Perspective and Therefore The World (or Overcome Your Shit)

Changing your perspective can change your entire world. Here’s how to see your way clear of the past…

Have you ever experienced shit in your life?

You know what I mean. Bad shit. Out of the blue, things are going fine, slam in the face shit.

Heart breaking, didn’t see that coming, or maybe I did and couldn’t avoid it shit.

Life shit.

Death shit.

Love shit.

Work shit.

Lots and lots of money shit.

Maybe someone did something cruel to you, or you did something cruel to someone else.

Either way, you remember that instance. You think of it from time to time, and what you learned from that experience occasionally guides your day-to-day activities. You kind of carry it around with you in an invisible back pack and press on it once in a while, see if it still stings.

And while that’s happening, the carrying of the shit, you start to notice you’ve somehow started repeating the same action again and again.

The action that got you in the shit.

Or maybe you don’t. Most people don’t.

Most people repeat the same mistakes over and over again, ever failing to move forward. Click To Tweet

You’ll notice in the always prevalent trauma porn news that people who were abused as kids grow up to abuse their own kids and cite their own abuse as the reason.

Those who experienced a rocky or abusive relationship find that they struggle to connect with others.

Those who grew up in a financially-strapped family find that they’re always skirting the edge bankruptcy, forever finding monetary security to be just out of reach.

And most people don’t realise that they’re not a ‘victim of circumstance’.

The world isn’t out to get them. Their problems stem from their actions, and their actions stem from perception.

So I want you to consider how a change in your perspective could change your whole world.

Big statement, I know.

I feel pretty qualified to make it.

We’ve taught people who have always struggled with relationships in the past to make it so their future relationships are fulfilling and happy.

We’ve shown people how to break the cycle of never quite having enough money, and finally make themselves financially stable.

Through all my years of working with a community of people who grow, I know we’ve guided them to master the world.

It all starts with perception.

DIANE

Let’s start with a story.

Back in 1987, a young woman by the name of Diane (not her real name for reasons of privacy) was admitted to St Vincent’s Hospital in Sydney with severe abdominal injuries. Tragically, for more than 13 years, Diane suffered at the hands of an emotionally and physically abusive father.

On this particular day, the physical abuse was so severe, Diane was rushed to hospital unconscious, with a broken arm, and with blood pouring from a wound above her left eye caused by a blunt object.

Diane recovered physically, but the emotional wounds remained with her.

Over the next decade, Diane tried to move on with her life, but the tragedy of her formative years had created mental barriers that prevented her from forming proper relationships or even holding down a job.

Her perception of life, love, relationships and happiness was dominated by negativity, fear, self-doubt, low self-esteem, and feelings of abandonment and neglect.

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In short, her entire life was spent desperately trying to find ways to cope with the events of her past, which meant she was unable to build a better future.

She couldn’t even conceptualise that beyond this tragedy was potential triumph; that a greater life full of freedom, success, happiness and fulfilment was truly possible.

PERCEPTION

Diane’s case is extreme, but it makes for an excellent case study.

For starters, Diane managed to turn her situation around. She’s now working in a career field that she loves, with the man of her dreams. Yes, she’s real. She’s done a complete reversal. And if Diane can overcome what she overcame, then you can overcome the bad shit in your own life too.

How did she do it?

It all boils down to perception.

Let’s trace how it all works.

In the decade following that fateful night in 1987, Diane had a negative perception.

She had (understandably) labelled her situation as ‘bad’.

Unfortunately, because this all happened during her formative years (and from her Family of Origin, no less) Diane learned that the whole world was bad.

Whenever she looked at a possible relationship with another human being, she saw her father.

Necessarily, she wanted to avoid being subjected to that situation again and developed a tendency to sabotage relationships when they appeared to be headed toward disaster.

Note here two things.

For one, her healthy relationships (such as those with her co-workers) were not headed for disaster. In fact, they were quite healthy, until Diane herself began to sabotage them because she perceived the relationship to be headed down a negative path. And sure enough, she turned her perceptions into reality – ending the relationship in a negative manner.

For two, fixating on her father and deliberately trying to avoid him caused her to pursue him (or at least, men who seemed to be similar to him).

Sound crazy? It’s not.

That’s the way the mind works.

Let’s try an experiment. Do not, under any circumstance, think about a fluorescent green rabbit. Think of something other than a fluorescent green rabbit.

What are you thinking about? A fluorescent green rabbit.

The unconscious mind has trouble recognising negatives.

So in order for you to not do something, your mind has to first recognise what that something is. So in order for you to not think about a green rabbit, your mind has to first think about a green rabbit.

The same principals applied with Diane. In order for her to not get into a relationship similar to the one she had with her father, she had to first imagine relationships like the one she had with her father.

And because she was so eager to avoid getting into a similar relationship, she ended up actually pursuing them because that was all she ever thought about.

In short, because she perceived her relationship with her father to be of pivotal importance, and the failure of that relationship to be so catastrophic, she began thinking about it constantly – and rather than avoid a repeat situation, ended up creating it over and over again.

Many, many people operate with this mindset.

They look at their past and perceive it to have far more importance than it needs to have.

They look at a time when someone was less-than-pleasant with them and decide ‘that was the most awful thing ever’. And then they try not to think about it because it was ‘the most awful thing ever’.

In attempting to avoid thinking about it, they inevitably end up thinking about it too much. They recreate the very situation they aimed to avoid and the cycle starts all over again.

In Diane’s case, she perceived the fallout with her father to be the definition of relationships and thus it defined all of her future relationships.

So now that we’ve recognised the root cause of the problem, what do we do to rectify it?

As you may have noticed, Diane’s problems stemmed from an error in perception. Post-1987, Diane’s father was out of her life for good. He was no longer around to negatively influence her, meaning that we can’t hold him responsible for anything that happened after that.

“But he abused Diane as a child!” you might say. “That’s sure to have a long-lasting impact.”

Yes, but only if you perceive is as having a long-lasting impact!

Once Diane’s father was out of the picture, Diane was on her own.

Any new relationships she entered were her responsibility, and any failures of those relationships were her responsibility as well.

Her father’s actions were negative, yes, but it was Diane’s perception of those actions that influenced her life.

Diane’s first step was to recognise that she could no longer play the ‘victim’ card.

No longer could she attribute her failures to things that happened a decade previously.

Diane had to first come to terms with the fact that the past is the past, and any influence it had on her present was a result of her own doing.

Her next step was to change her perception of the world.

She needed to recognise that her father’s actions were destructive, but she had to refrain from evaluating them.

Her father’s actions weren’t bad.

They weren’t good, either.

They were simply actions.

By removing the element of evaluation from them (they were no longer ‘the worst thing ever’), Diane at the same time ceased to have any reason to think about them. They were simply actions that had affected her in an adverse fashion.

At once, she ceased to define the world by her father’s actions. She realised that the actions were negative and offered her no practical value, so why hold onto them? They had been negative before, so why would they be positive now? She realised that it is better to evaluate actions than people – do their actions help or hurt Diane?

In short, she experienced a major paradigm shift.

Her whole world suddenly became brighter and easier. Her relationships improved. Because she was no longer living according to her inaccurate views of the world, she began to see the world as it truly is. She started seeing that some people perform actions that help her, and others perform actions that hurt her.

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Those people who helped her became her friends. Those who hurt her were – for the first time in Diane’s life – let go.

Through a change in perception, Diane managed to take complete control over her life.

IN YOUR LIFE

How does this affect you?

As mentioned above, many people live according to the past. Years and years and years ago, something happened, and they didn’t like it. Rather than move on from the problem, they let it define their future. And needless to say, because they’re defining their lives according to the shitty times, they experience shittier times in the future.

It all boils down to changing your perception of the world.

You first need to be happy to let go of your victim card.

The victim card tends to look something like ‘I can’t do X because Y happened Z amount of time ago’. The victim card is a crutch and forbids you from making forward progress in your life.

Shitty things happen in everyone’s life. The strong (like Diane) move on in spite of the negative things that happen.

Your next task is to change your perception of whatever it was that happened.

Let’s say that you grew up in a poor family, and nowadays you find yourself perpetually skirting poverty. To use the victim card is to say ‘I’m always going to be like this because I come from a poor family’. Your mind, ever-obedient, will make sure this is EXACTLY what happens! So you need to change your perception of the world.

‘I’m going to save money. I’m on my way to being financially secure. I can do this because although I love my family, they’re lousy with money and I don’t want to repeat their mistakes’.

Now you’re approaching the problem with a fresh new perspective. No longer are you relying on a victim status to absolve yourself of responsibility. You’ve recognised a problem and you’re taking proactive measures to fix it.

Just changing your perspective, though, isn’t going to make you a millionaire overnight.

You have to work it. Make a plan, open a savings account, do some work around your money mindset.

As always, perception is key here.

You want to view your journey as steps toward a positive goal. Will you make a mistake? Probably. Most likely, actually. Any time someone tries something new, they make a mistake. Heck, even seasoned professionals make mistakes, doing the things they’ve done a million times.

The point is, perception plays a role here, too. If you make a mistake, refrain from evaluating it in terms of good in bad. Instead, view the action you took and consider whether or not it was productive or counterproductive.

For example, let’s say you’re trying to save money and one weekend you splurge and spend too much money. Maintain your perspective. ‘I splurged, and this was counterproductive’.

Calm, emotionally balanced, and practical. Because you’re not emotionally charging the mistake (‘this is SO AWFUL!’) you no longer have a reason to think about it.

You create your own world.

Because you’re committed to changing your perspective (in this case, saving money) your perspective changes and the world will change around you.

This is true for any problem that you can imagine. Just because you grew up in an abusive household doesn’t mean that your relationships have to be rocky for the rest of your life. Just because you grew up in poverty doesn’t mean you have to live in poverty forever.

Just because X happened fifteen years ago doesn’t mean that Y has to happen today.

All you need to do is to change your perspective. Changing your perspective means you change the world.

FREE Webinar: How to Deal with the Sh*t in Your Life – The Secret of Turning Your Tragedy into Triumph

Discover how to live the life of your dreams, no matter what has happened to you.

Click here for Instant Access to your FREE Tragedy to Triumph Webinar >>

About Mitch Behan

Mitch Behan, Founder and Director of MJB Seminars, is a master educator in the area of personal transformation. With over 18 years’ experience in the Personal Development industry he has transformed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. He is a passionate, brilliant and talented public speaker that has an innate knowing and ability to whisper to another human soul and awaken the greatness that lies within us all. Mitch is a true teacher renowned for walking his walk and talking his talk.

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